GELETT BURGESS QUOTES II

American artist, poet & humorist (1866-1951)

The most ignorant woman can become a great actress, under the stress of emotion.

GELETT BURGESS

Find the Woman


Love endeth like the chianti flask, its drops are bitter.

GELETT BURGESS

The Maxims of Methuselah


There are secrets so dangerous that to possess them is foolhardy. It is like storing dynamite in one's drawing-room; an explosion is always imminent, and publication would mean disaster.

GELETT BURGESS

The Romance of the Commonplace


Hast thou given the first kiss to a maiden? Write her speedily on the morrow before she giveth thee fierce words; assure her and comfort her woe; let her remorse be abated, give unto her an excuse for her conduct.

GELETT BURGESS

The Maxims of Methuselah


I have known secrets myself, so outrageous, so bulging with scandal, that, had I not promptly forgotten them, they would have undone society twenty times over! There is a titillating pleasure in the keeping of such terrific truths and it increases one's inward pride to think that one knows of another what, if told, would change the aspect of a life.

GELETT BURGESS

The Romance of the Commonplace


My son, when thou sayest: All women are liars, it is easy to thee. But he who perceiveth when they are lying, I say unto thee, he is a man of understanding.

GELETT BURGESS

The Maxims of Noah: Derived from His Experience with Women


Son, if a maiden love thee, thou shalt appear handsome in her sight; she shall praise thine eyes, and the corners of thy mouth, yea, she shall admire thy hands. Though thou wert even as the orangutan yet shall she paint thee with fancies.

GELETT BURGESS

The Maxims of Methuselah


The villager may have this hidden wisdom as clearly as the man who has seen and done, who has fought, loved and travelled far and well.

GELETT BURGESS

The Romance of the Commonplace


The joy of creation does not fade, for in that lies our divinity and our claim to eternity.

GELETT BURGESS

The Romance of the Commonplace


Propose not to a woman when she hath gotten a new frock, nor when she is puffed up with victories; when she reigneth and rejoiceth in her hour of triumph, come not nigh unto her; but when she be ill or weary, when she is cast down in spirit and needeth a comforter, then be thou ready, and make thy suit.

GELETT BURGESS

The Maxims of Methuselah


A maiden's first kiss cometh hard, yea, it is as the first olive out of a bottle, requiring much skill; but the rest are easy.

GELETT BURGESS

The Maxims of Methuselah


Repeat not the manner of a flirtation; for lo, all the world shall hear of it, and women will taunt thee.

GELETT BURGESS

The Maxims of Methuselah


Time was when we made our own toys; when a piece of twine, a spool, a few nails and a bit of imagination could keep us busy and happy all day long.

GELETT BURGESS

The Romance of the Commonplace


Many a maid have I won by a quarrel, when flattery was in no wise helpful; but take heed that thou art in the wrong, so that thou mayest acknowledge thine error.

GELETT BURGESS

The Maxims of Methuselah


Her heart consenteth before her lips say: Yea; and in this interval lieth her Paradise; wherefore she would prolong it.

GELETT BURGESS

The Maxims of Methuselah


Hurry not a woman's favor; neither forcer her hastily to surrender to thee. For she goeth into love as she goeth into the waters at the seashore; first a hand and then a lip goeth she in by littles. She diveth not, she leapeth not from the pier; but by gentle shocks and cries of protest she entereth slowly; yet when the waters of love encompass her, then she is supported. She swimmeth in her joy; she floateth on the tide of happiness.

GELETT BURGESS

The Maxims of Methuselah


The sense of humor is essentially cruel, and therefore really kind people never have any at all.

GELETT BURGESS

Two O'clock Courage


No man knoweth how another man maketh his love, for women tell not.

GELETT BURGESS

The Maxims of Methuselah


When the day is done, and that entrancing hour is come for which some spend many of their waking hours in anticipation, to those blessed with fancy, the curtain of the dark arises, and within the theatre of the Night are played strange comedies.

GELETT BURGESS

The Romance of the Commonplace


Can a woman entertain a man and a pet at the same time? I say unto thee, one of the twain shall suffer jealousy.

GELETT BURGESS

The Maxims of Methuselah