VALENTINE'S DAY QUOTES III
quotations about Valentine's Day
It's been projected that Americans will spend over $13 billion this Valentine's Day. And guys who forget Valentine's Day will spend over $100 billion.
CONAN O'BRIEN
Conan, February 13, 2012
What I'd like to know is how many fights/breakups/divorces occur because of Valentine's Day compared to other days of the year? The men sit at home and wait in fear in case they've done the wrong thing. The women who didn't receive flowers at work rush home snarling. There's so much pressure on relationships on Valentine's Day its practically unbearable. People all over the world are pushed into proposing when they're not quite ready. I know this for a fact because I see them a few months down the line (they're the guys who hit the office mid-March with the scared, wild-horse-like eyes that flick all over the room searching for exit points).
ALLISON RUSHBY
Hating Valentine's Day
Guess what? There's no law saying you must celebrate Valentine's Day. Not since the last time I checked, anyway. If you find Valentine's Day painful, corny, commercial, or plain old irritating, ignore it. Abracadabra, Valentine's Day is gone. Poof!
VIKKI ZIEGLER
"Valentine's Day Is Just Another Tricky Day When You're Divorced", Huffington Post, January 26, 2017
Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.
FERNANDO PESSOA
"Tobacco Shop"
On Valentine's Day, Americans spend $367 million on their pets. That seems like a waste. You don't need to wine and dine your dog. Either way, he's going to hump your leg.
JIMMY KIMMEL
Jimmy Kimmel Live!, February 14, 2012
There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single, flashing, throbbing moment.
SARAH DESSEN
The Truth About Forever
Sure, of all days that ever were dated,
Valentine's Day is the fullest of news;--
Then ev'ry lass expects to be mated
And Cupid goes round collecting his dues!
THOMAS HOOD
"Valentine's Day"
I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowers cost then? Ten grand?
JAY LENO
attributed, The Mammoth Book of Comic Quotes
Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? Sure, they're very scent-imental!
JIM KRAUS
The Laugh-a-Day Book of Bloopers, Quotes & Good Clean Jokes
Soul meets soul on lovers' lips.
PERCY BYSSHE SHELLEY
Prometheus Unbound
Stay, little Valentine, stay,
Each day is Valentine's day.
LORENZ HART
"My Funny Valentine"
Valentine's Day is the worst. It is the most self-sabotaging, cut-your-nose-off-to-spite-your-face holiday we human beings have been stupid enough to come up with. This unmitigated annual disaster is devoted to celebrating, and so putting a microscope to, societal mores about what it means to be in romantic love. (And so also the even-more-fun part, hahaha -- the lonely inverse!)
DAVE BRY
"Valentine's Day expectations are a setup for heartbreak", The Guardian, February 14, 2016
It was bad enough not having a boyfriend for New Year's Eve. Now I had to cope with Valentine datelessness, feeling consummate social pressure from every retailer in America who stuck hearts and cupids on their windows by January second to rub it in.
JOAN BAUER
Thwonk
Saint Valentine is past;
Begin these wood-birds but to couple now?
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
A Midsummer Night's Dream
There's a Goodwill store in Sarasota, Florida where they're asking people who have been through a breakup recently to donate their ex's old belongings for Valentine's Day. It's a great idea. They should rename themselves GoodRiddance instead of Goodwill.
JIMMY KIMMEL
Jimmy Kimmel Live, February 11, 2016
When you're in elementary school, Valentine's Day is an obligatory dropping of cheap paper cards into construction-paper boxes in front of everybody's desk. In high school, perhaps an elaborate purchase of helium balloons that you have to carry around awkwardly from math class to first lunch. By the time you reach adulthood, the magic is kinda gone. If you're dating, you get to spend twice as much for the same meal at Intermezzo as you spent there last Saturday, and if you're single, don't even try to get a table; they're booked.
JASON JOHNSON
"Ditch the Doomsayers: Black Love Is Real This Valentine's Day, and Here Are 5 Facts to Prove It", The Root, February 14, 2016
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
CHARLES M. SCHULZ
attributed, Quotes To Remember
This February 14th I declare V-Day; no, not V for Valentine ... V for Victory over a longstanding holiday that has twisted the hearts and minds of all who have been unfortunate enough to have been brainwashed by its evil pull since first placing store bought cards into tiny shoeboxes in elementary school. V for Victory over greedy swine toying with the emotional well being of the public at large to increase profit margins. But most importantly, V for Victory over longstanding feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness based on an arbitrary date on a calendar.
ALEXANDER KERN
"I Heart the Crotchety Bastard or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Be Indifferent to Valentine's Day", February 14, 2006
I will love you always. When this red hair is white, I will still love you. When the smooth softness of youth is replaced by the delicate softness of age, I will still want to touch your skin. When your face is full of the lines of every smile you have ever smiled, of every surprise I have seen flash through your eyes, when every tear you have ever cried has left its mark upon your face, I will treasure you all the more, because I was there to see it all. I will share your life with you ... and I will love you until the last breath leaves your body or mine.
LAURELL K. HAMILTON
A Lick of Frost
On Valentine's Day, the Spirit Club plastered the school with red streamers and pink balloons and red and pink hearts. It looked like Clifford the Big Red Dog ate a flock of flamingoes and then barfed his guts up.
CAROLYN MACKLER
Vegan, Virgin, Valentine