quotations from The Simpsons
I just realized we never had a wedding for the cat and the dog. They've been living in sin.
MARGE
"Fear of Flying", The Simpsons
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!
TROY MCCLURE
"Lisa the Vegetarian", The Simpsons
Oh, God gets your papers, but he just clicks delete without reading them, like email updates from Linkedln.
HOMER
"Sky Police", The Simpsons
Well, your story is very compelling, Mr. Jackass, I mean Simpson. So I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter.
CHIEF WIGGUM
"The Springfield Files", The Simpsons
Well, I guess we've learned that of all the countless planets in the universe, we have evolved into the most inedible species. Like three bean salad at a barbecue, we will remain untouched.
LISA
"The Man Who Came to Be Dinner", The Simpsons
Attention workers, we have completed our evaluation of the plant. We regret to announce the following lay-offs, which I will read in alphabetical order ... Simpson, Homer. That is all.
HORST
"Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk", The Simpsons
We have places your family can hide in peace and security: Cape Feare, Terror Lake, New Horrorfield, Screamville --
FBI AGENT
"Cape Feare", The Simpsons
They didn't have any aspirin, so I got you some cigarettes.
HOMER
The Simpsons
Mom, romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney, homogenized, and sold off piece by piece.
LISA
"Another Simpsons Clip Show", The Simpsons
Come on, Marge, I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls. I'm sick of eating hoagies. I want a grinder, a sub, a foot-long hero. I want to live, Marge! Won't you let me live? Won't you, please?!
HOMER
"Fear of Flying", The Simpsons
Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes registering my disgust throughout the world.
COMIC BOOK GUY
"The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show", The Simpsons
Operator! Give me the number for 911!
HOMER
The Simpsons
Aw, it's Christmas Eve, man, we do not want to set a precedent for fat guys being late tonight!
BART
"I Won't Be Home for Christmas", The Simpsons